Well, it’s been a second.
The last time I wrote on this website I was living in Los Angeles working at an influencer marketing agency. Today, almost a year later, I am living in New York City working as the global digital marketing manager for a design and concept firm. Needless to say, things are a little different.
So often it’s easy to get wrapped up in the current moment. I’m just as guilty as the next person of forgetting where we’ve come from or what we’ve gone through. Looking back at the past few years, I am in awe at how life has turned out. I’m not sure what I expected out of life. Out of my career. My personal relationships with friends, family. But alas, here I am truly the happiest that I have ever been. Sure, there are days where I am angry or frustrated at my current situation but holistically? Things are good.
The last time I lived in New York I was 24-years old. The only post-college job that I had held was at Starbucks. I was still in the closet. I was awkward and uncertain and confused and searching. My definition of interior design was painting the Ralph Lauren and Burberry logos on the walls up my Upper West Side apartment.
My journey has been full of turns, setbacks, peaks, valleys. Even today, after a few years of life and a few therapy sessions, I still have this thing about control. I want to know what’s going to happen. How it’s going to happen. I want to feel in control of my emotions. Moral of the story? That’s not always going to be the case. I’ve learned that rather than getting anxious or worked up about the future, it’s more important to live in the moment. To acknowledge and celebrate where you’ve come from. To stop writing future chapters of what could happen.
New York City 2.0. Things have changed. The city has changed. I have changed. That’s a beautiful reality of life. I don’t know about you, but the idea of a stagnant reality sounds a little boring. As I build a life here, I am trying to bring subtle nods to my past to my present, even the recent past. Palo Santo and plants throughout the apartment reminds me of my time in Los Angeles. A map of Granada, Spain on the wall in my bedroom brings back the memories of spending time in Europe during college. A stuffed Big Bird from the first weekend that I spent with my boyfriend. The joy and laughter that came from that time. A menu from Bar Toma to remind me of my time in Chicago. Paddles from Sanborn Canoe to remind me of my childhood. Camping in Wisconsin. Canoeing at my grandparents’ lake home in Minnesota. Going on hikes and walks through the woods. Nature is a piece of my past that makes me smile. Happy. Here in this urban jungle, nature isn’t as prevalent. Sure, there’s Prospect Park and Central Park, but it’s not the same.
This city can be cold and harsh. It can sweep you up in all the joy and excitement and thrill and wonder that is New York City. You can either be chewed up and allow this city to get the best of you or you can ride the wave. At this point in my life I want to use all that I’ve been through, all the memories - good and bad, as the foundation that got me to where I am today.
So, New York, you’ve put me through it. But here I am again, full circle. Let’s live in the moment and cherish all that’s come before.
Thank you Sanborn Canoe for helping me bring a little piece of home and my childhood to this crazy life in New York City. Seeing the paddles and coffee mug in my apartment never ceases to bring a smile to my face.